Breaking Down The Wall
by jesuisl0ser
Summary: Lilly is trying to cope with everything that happened in 'The Woods' and trying to put what went on with Chris and Scotty behind her. But her emotions begin to take control...Part 2 added, same story in Lil's POV
1. Breaking Down the Wall Scotty's POV

**_A/N: Hi all! This is my first time writing a Cold Case fic. Please go easy on me; as I haven't been a fan since the show first started, so forgive me if I have some mistakes in here (sniff)...Yeah, I know, it's pretty short, but oh well.  
So,is this fic LSor not? You, the readers, can be the judges of that. _**

**_DISCLAIMER: Cold Case belongs to Jerry B. And, think about it: If I owned Cold Case, do you really think I'd be sitting here wasting my time on this fic and wondering how much people are going to hate it?_**

**_Thanks everyone, Enjoy!_**

_**Cold Case:**_

_**Breaking Down the Wall**_

_Trying to talk to Lil is like trying to break down a brick wall..._

Scotty Valens leaned his head back in his chair and closed his eyes. Wasn't an apology good enough for her? It wasn't like he didn't mean it. Scotty knew he should have trusted Lil...Chris was a troublemaker, a 'train wreck' as Lilly had put it. And he had hoped a sincere apology would have made it all better. Well, at least, it had seemed that way at first.

"_...Really stupid of me to think that...Why would an _apology_ be enough for Lilly Rush?"_

Of course, she'd had every right to be mad at him before...but now it was over and it seemed that she couldn't accept that. And now, here he was, sitting there at his desk feeling like a complete fool. Scotty had walked into work that morning confident that he would be able to talk to Lil. Heck, maybe she would even let him show her a little support after what happened with that lunatic George not too long ago.

But boy, was he wrong. Lilly had given him the cold shoulder all morning. Now, while she was getting a cup of coffee in the break room, Scotty had some time to think. He tried to be positive at the beginning...

"_Maybe she just needs some time alone..._"

But he knew it was him. Lilly had been talking fine with everyone else...why was it just HIM that made her mad? _"It's always me.."._ he thought. Scotty shook his head, in disapproval of his own thoughts...He couldn't start feeling sorry for himself. He had to figure out what was wrong. Lilly was stubborn, he knew, and maybe she just didn't want to let the fact that she had forgiven him sink in. Thoughts were screaming in his head, over and over again...

Suddenly a loud noise interrupted his thoughts. Lilly was back in the room, and had set her coffee cup down on her desk firmly...a little too firmly. Scotty jolted upright in his chair. "Geez..." he mumbled. What in the name of...Who..."

Realizing it was Lilly who had slammed her cup on the desk like that, he shut his mouth, for his own good... He looked up at Lilly. She was glaring daggers at him. Scotty quickly looked down at the report he was supposed to be reading all the time she was gone and tried to read, but all the words were a blur to him. He began to sweat a little and tugged at his collar. It was just that he always felt her watching him...he could only imagine what she was thinking about him. He sighed and mumbled, "I'm gonna get a cup of coffee..."

As he walked into the break room, he still felt those blue eyes on him...like a heavy weight. He really didn't want a cup of coffee at all, he just wanted to get away from the cold atmosphere that Lilly brought about. Scotty took a deep breath. It was good to be out of there. Just for a moment. Now he needed to get coffee, because he knew Lilly had heard him say he wanted a hot cup, and he would look suspicious if he came back without one. After pouring himself some, he turned to head out of the break room. As he turned, he bumped right into Lilly, and almost spilled his coffee all over her.

"Watch where you're going, Valens!" That was the first thing she had said to Scotty the whole day. But the one thing she had said had ticked him off, and Scotty wasn't gonna let it slide. He followed her to her desk and set his cup down on his.

"Lil, what's your problem? You haven't talked to me all day and the one thing you have to say to me is to watch where I'm going. Is it me!" Scotty grabbed Lilly's shoulders and stared into her eyes firmly.

"Answer me", he said in a calmer tone. "Are you still mad about...you know..."

Lilly pulled away from Scotty and said, "Don't touch me". But it wasn't in that icy voice, Scotty noticed. It was a quivering, almost defeated voice. Almost like she didn't even mean it. Lilly sank down in her desk chair. "Lil..." Scotty began, "I—"

"Please", Lilly interrupted. She looked as if she were about to cry. But Scotty knew Lilly never, ever cried. "Please", she said again. "Don't say anything..."

Scotty leaned closer to her, as she was sitting across from him. He wasn't going to give up until he knew why Lilly was resenting him so much. He wanted to help her.

"It's...it's not you..." Lilly said, finally answering his question. Scotty was slightly taken aback at this. "But why did you---"

"I talked to everyone else because I wanted to avoid you so you wouldn't see me like this", Lilly said, yet again cutting him off. "So many emotions..." she said, clearly fighting back tears. "...Piling up on me..."

Scotty had never heard Lilly speak that way before. It was like she was a totally different person. He stood up and walked behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders and peering down at her. "Lil, you could have told me 'bout this. Why did you think you couldn't?"

"I..I was afraid you'd think I was a coward..." She was on the verge of tears and she stopped.

"Lil, I wouldn't think that..." Scotty was at a loss of words himself.

"You've probably noticed that I'm just not one of those people who cries that often", Lilly said. Scotty felt a little guilty, for that was exactly what he had been thinking. There was a moment of silence.

"Everybody's gotta cry sometimes", Scotty said finally. "Everybody."

And then the tears came. Scotty usually felt very uncomfortable when someone he was talking to just started crying; he always wished he was anywhere but where the situation was being held. But Lil was different. He had no trouble rubbing her back and whispering, "It's gonna be okay..." in her ear. Lilly wasn't really _crying_, Scotty observed, she was just letting all the tears bottled up inside her finally let loose. She took shaky breaths, but otherwise, not a sound came out of her. Lilly wasn't the type to be found hysterically crying. She looked up at him, sighed, and looked away.

Ten minutes went by like this. Suddenly Lilly stood up and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I needed to let that go...I'm sorry..." Scotty stood up beside her.

"Don't be sorry, Lilly. You gonna be OK?" he asked. Lilly nodded and said, "Do me a favor...just don't tell anyone about this, you hear?"

A mischievous look danced across Scotty's features. "And, if I _do_?" he teased.

"It'll be the _last_ thing you do, Valens", Lilly replied, heading to the break room for more coffee.

Scotty couldn't help but chuckle. Lilly was definitely back to her normal self. And, in those fifteen minutes he'd spent with her, he had managed to get through to Lilly, and see her with different eyes. Scotty had made Lilly take her guard down...for a brief moment, he'd finally, piece by piece, broken down her wall.

END

* * *

R&R, people! I need your opinions on this!

kawaii-peach14


	2. Costume Lil's POV

**A/N: Hi all. I'm...back. My muse hasn't been gracing its presence upon me much lately, and I couldn't think of much of an idea for a new story, so I figured just to write a second part to this. It's the same story, but in Lilly's POV. I personally think it's a little out of character and corny...but I am counting on you, the readers, to let me know which version you liked best. R&R Please please please! Try to enjoy. kawaii-peach14**

**_Breaking Down the Wall--"Costume"  
(Lil's POV)_**

_He's looking at me...Dammit, he's _still_ looking at me..._

Detective Lilly Rush looked down at her paperwork and tried to focus on it instead of focusing on something entirely different—Scotty. She knew he was looking at her, watching her; waiting for her to finally say something to him. Lilly hadn't said a word to her partner all morning and didn't plan on it, either. In fact, she preferred not to talk to anyone that day, because somehow that terrible night in the 'woods' would probably come up on subject. . .and even though there was the possibility that it wouldn't, she wasn't going to take any chances. George Marks was one of the main things that Lilly wanted to forget about forever. . .but the fact was that her mind—the memories—just wouldn't let her.

The looks of concern from Scotty continued up to a point where Lilly felt as if she would vomit if he looked at her one more time. So, to escape, she made her way into the break room for coffee. As she was preparing her cup of coffee, she peered out the door at Scotty. He seemed deep in thought; his eyebrows furrowed and his head leaned back in his chair. What he was thinking about Lilly wasn't quite sure of, but as long as it wasn't _her_ he was thinking about, she honestly didn't care.  
_And just in case he is_, she thought, _I'll bring him back to reality._

_**BAM!  
**_ She slammed her coffee cup on her desk loudly and hid a satisfied smirk as Scotty jumped in surprise.  
"Geez! What in the name of. . . .who---" Lilly watched him stutter and saw his surprised expression when he realized she was staring down at him. Scotty quickly looked down at the report he had been reading. Lilly sat down back at her desk and stared long and hard at him. Maybe he'd get the picture if he placed himself in her shoes for a while. See how he likes it when he knows someone's staring at him! Scotty tugged at his collar and cleared his throat, and Lilly stared even _harder_. Suddenly he stood up abruptly and said, "I'm gonna get a cup of coffee." Lilly glared daggers at him until he turned the corner into the break room.  
In the back of her mind, Lilly couldn't help thinking that all the anger bottled up inside of her was truly sadness, just _wearing_ anger, like wearing a costume, so no one could see what was truly under it.  
Lilly quickly shook the thought away and dove back into reality. Scotty had been in the break room for a long time, and she was almost done with her coffee anyway. She decided to go in there and see what was up.

As Lilly made her way into the break room, looking down at the floor and walking swiftly, she promised herself she wouldn't look into his eyes. . .  
Focusing on that promise alone, she didn't notice that Scotty was walking out of the break room in the same direction. By the time she looked up, it was too late. They had bumped right into each other, and Scotty's coffee cup had just barely missed her head. Lilly felt as if she were too surprised to speak.  
_Think of a retort. . .Damn, Lilly, don't freeze up on him now!_ Lilly scolded herself.  
"Watch where you're going, Valens!" _Crap. That sucked.  
_Lilly quickly headed back to her desk. She heard him following her and tried to avoid him. She heard him slam his cup on his desk.  
"Lil, what's your problem? You haven't talked to me all day and the one thing you have to say to me is to watch where I'm going. Is it me!" Scotty cried. Lilly had been planning not to answer; after all, she hadn't been talking to him all day, what made him think she would answer him now?  
And then she felt his hands grasp her shoulders. She had no choice but to slowly look up and stare into his eyes.  
"Answer me", he said, calmer this time. "Are you still mad about...you know..."  
Lilly quickly pulled away from Scotty's grasp. Since when did he have the right to touch her? "Don't touch me." she said. But, unfortunately, the words didn't come out as Lilly had planned them to. It wasn't a very convincing command, and her voice was shaking from the unshed tears behind her eyes that she refused to release.  
No, it wasn't him. . .what he had done with Lilly's sister was over and done with, and Lilly was okay with that. It wasn't Scotty. And that was when it hit her—she'd been mad at the wrong person for the wrong reasons that morning.  
"Lil..." She heard him mumble, "I..."  
"Please. . .Don't say anything. . ." Lilly interrupted Scotty and tried to blink the tears from her eyes. But they just kept coming. They filled up her eyes until Scotty's face was just a blur, along with everything else around her. But she needed to tell him that it wasn't his fault that she was acting this way. Lilly gathered up the voice she had left.  
"It's...it's not you..." _There. I said it.  
_She watched his eyebrows raise slowly in surprise. "But why did you—"  
Lilly again found the need to cut him off. "I talked to everyone else because I wanted to avoid you so you wouldn't see me like this. So many emotions. . ." Lilly choked up. "Piling up on me."  
_Oh no. No, I can't cry. . .NO!  
_She felt his hands on her shoulders once more.  
"Lil, you could have told me 'bout this. Why did you think you couldn't?" His voice was soft.  
"I. . .I was afraid you'd think I was a coward." _WHY did I just say that? Great. Just GREAT, Lilly.  
_"Lil, I wouldn't think that..." _At least I'm not the only one with a loss for words now.  
_Lilly knew that Scotty knew she didn't usually act like this, but just to make sure...  
"You've probably noticed that I'm just not one of those people who cries that often", she said.  
There was a moment of silence between the both of them.  
"Everybody's gotta cry sometimes", Scotty said finally. "Everybody."  
_  
Lilly, don't you dare cry. Lil, not at a time like this. Don't cry. . .don't—  
_For the first time in a long time, Lilly cried. She let the tears roll down her cheeks and onto her lap and felt his gentle hand on her back and whispering to her. She didn't push him away. Lilly sobbed silently, dropping her head and letting her hair fall on each side of it. She couldn't bear to look into his eyes. . .not now.  
She thought of George and the woods.  
She thought of her mother and her sister.  
And she cried.

After a good ten minutes, Lilly was ready to get back to her normal routine. She abruptly stood up, wiping the tears from her eyes and still not looking at Scotty.  
"I needed to let that go. . .I'm sorry. . ." was all she could say.  
"Don't be sorry, Lilly. You gonna be OK?" Lilly finally looked at him and nodded.  
"Do me a favor...just don't tell anyone about this, you hear?" Her expression was serious.  
Scotty's eyes had a mischievous twinkle in them. "And if I _do_?"  
"It'll be the last thing you do, Valens." Lilly said her parting statement and went off to the break room.

Lilly sighed deeply and shook her head. She had to admit, she felt better after letting her bottled up feelings go. Lilly wasn't sure how Scotty had done it, but he had managed to see what she truly was through that costume of anger and the wall she had built up around her. He'd been able to see her like no one else could. And, for that moment, Lilly liked it that way.

_Maybe I should keep my little costume off for a while. . ._


End file.
